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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – attributed to Einstein
The Advocate: Because we don't really need - or want - your support
I was writing a long entry about how the phenomenon of black homophobia is a crock of shit (more on that later), when I found myself having to write this entry first. The Prop 8 thing is not going to go away anytime soon, sadly, and the rift between white gays and people of color (of all orientations) is going to be there for a pretty long while. The excuse of “Well, I was lashing out when I said those things; it’s time to heal” isn’t going to swing this time, mainly because all the rage white gays were spewing was being directed to the wrong black people. Black voters for Prop 8 were hardly reading liberal, pro-gay blogs with calculators and maps of California counties in hand, trying to get to the bottom of all this. You really think Trick Trick is losing any sleep over this?
A lot of younger blacks have views that run almost polar opposite to our parents’ views, and we’ve taken a lot of shit for challenging their views and telling them flat out that they were/are wrong. I know I’ve moved more than a couple of mountains in my family. Furthermore, a lot of our parents are either very young Boomers, or Generation Jones, arguably the last generation to be directly affected by the Civil Rights Movement. For them, Dr. King is not a symbol or a name. He is not some guy you drag out to win arguments. He’s not an ace card. He was real, and while I certainly can’t speak for all black people, or even all older black people, I can say that that quickest way to get a “girl, hush that foolishness!” is to compare your plight – however serious it may be – to what they went through. My high school experience at Honky McCracker Senior High School was unquestionably a study in institutionalized racism, but it wasn't my grandmother's high school experience of integrating the local high school after the colored high school closed.
Which brings me to my point. As much as white gays want to blame this on sensitive black people and our need to oppress another disadvantaged group (because we obviously have nothing else better to do), here’s the thing: in the black community, the only thing that you’re allowed to compare to the Civil Rights Movement is the Civil Rights Movement. Black white, gay, straight, son of God…if you are trying to get any point across and the words “Dr. King” come up, you’re probably going to lose your African-American audience, particularly if they’re over 50. In fact, the idea that “as long as we’re not being lynched” mentality has run kind of opposite to our well-being as a whole.
Warning: objects in this blog entry are far less real in your mind.
I’ll let Tim Wise, the Guru of Interracial Relations, explain why:
…[C]ontrary to popular belief, research indicates that people of color are actually reluctant to allege racism, be it on the job, or in schools, or anywhere else. Far from "playing the race card" at the drop of a hat, it is actually the case (again, according to scholarly investigation, as opposed to the conventional wisdom of the white public), that black and brown folks typically "stuff" their experiences with discrimination and racism, only making an allegation of such treatment after many, many incidents have transpired, about which they said nothing for fear of being ignored or attacked (10). Precisely because white denial has long trumped claims of racism, people of color tend to underreport their experiences with racial bias, rather than exaggerate them.
Now, one’s delicate sensibilities and painful memories shouldn’t matter any more than one’s religion, and even though the “gay is the new black” motto is lazy and patronizing (“C’mon, you should get it! You’re black!”), it doesn’t take away from the fact that there is only one right way to vote for this issue. It would also be nice if my money tree would start producing $100 bills. The bottom line is simple: as long as white gays keep hoisting up WWMLKD posters and expecting black people to hop aboard the gay rights train, they’re going to stay mad for the next 50 years. It’s not going to work. You’ve been told it’s not going to work. You’ve been SHOWN that it’s not going to work. Therefore, if you keep doing it over and over, don’t be surprised if people like me start to wonder if you have another agenda, one that has nothing to do with healing and everything to do with eking sympathy out of non-black gays. But hey, maybe the gay rights movement is getting their cues from third wave feminism nowadays.*
And just to show that making very powerful and logical arguments for gay rights is very easy to go without pulling poor Martin out of the grave, I’ll finish with this:
I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That's what Loving, and loving, are all about.—Mildred Loving
Hat tip to Renee at Womanist Musings for inspiring this mini-rant.
*In light of the fact that Prop 8 has placed a big wedge between people of color and non-black gays, I thought it would be great to exercise my white privilege and once again drag poor Dr. King out of the ground to underscore my agenda – this time, in the way of blatant plagiarism!
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Mood: fed up
Currently listening to: Midnight Marauders, A Tribe Called Quest
